Candy is the new black

Ya'll I've been naughty lately.
Naughty as in following a strict diet regimen of PBR and cheeseburgers.
And as a result, I have about an extra 7 pounds hangin' around.

But damn, October is a bad month to try and be good.
First off, there is the Arkansas State Fair.

• Fried Oreos.
• Fried pickles.
• Pig races.
• White trash as far as the eye can see.

Then there is Halloween candy. Candy corn and those mallowcreme pumpkins. Straight up high-fructose corn syrup paradise.

And holy shit look at this!

CANDY CORN HERSHEY KISSES!

Yes, it's true. They are real and they are good.

I hear they are also rich in antioxidents. Pshhh.